Lover, lover, lover

So many people I know are in relationships, engaged, ready to marry their "best friend," or already married. And that's great. I wish these people the best of luck in their future endeavors. However, I know a lot of people at my age that want love so badly they are willing to give their heart to anyone. And believe me, I've been there, but it's not a good situation.  I'm a hopeless romantic and know a few others who share very similar beliefs as me.  Sometimes you want things so bad that you start to give in, make excuses, or cover for other people - whether you notice it or not.

My aunts laughed and applauded me this Christmas break when we were joking about a young, hot, studly family friend who is from South America.  I have yet to meet him, but I hear he's pretty cool.  Anyway we were looking at his recent facebook post and he was smoking.  I'm not really a fan of that - so my aunt said, "He could change."  With no hesitation I said, "You should never enter a relationship expecting someone to change."  My aunts laughed and said I had knowledge beyond my years at age 22.  This I already know ;)

I guess my point is - don't settle for anything less than everything.  Especially at the age of 22.  I know, I know... you are "in love."  I'm just saying if it's the right person take your time.  Remember to keep that strong independent person that you are.  I know you're feeling pressure from... well everything.  You feel that you need to find someone and settle down in a few years, but you're young! You are only young once.  Travel while your knees still let you.  Make mistakes - make lots of them so you learn the lessons you need for the rest of your life.  Then when you are ready and meet the right person go for it.  You will have learned enough about yourself that you know exactly who you are and what you will and will not put up with.

My dad and step-mom travel all the time and are also not together a lot of the time.  They are on the phone a lot, but I guess my point is they both do things on their own that they enjoy and they still do a ton of stuff together.  There's no jealousy, no person controlling one over the other.  They both are free to do different activities without the other nagging "where were you - why didn't you call."  I don't know how to do descibe it.  They are "in sync" with each other.  They play and feed off each other so well its hard to describe.  They found each other later in life... after they learned exactly what they wanted.

To end with two good songs:

The first - Lover, Lover by Jerrod Niemann.... don't ever be afraid to walk away from something that is not right... no matter how far in the relationship you are... I don't care if it is the day before your wedding.  If you find out something that makes you not trust the person do not get caught in the relationship... you don't deserve it and after you walk away - you will thank god you weren't... what you almost were (Eric Church reference).

My favorite song... a "love" song about missing the San Francisco Bay =) Go Figure

Forever Young

Have you ever noticed that little kids fight for a day and then they are best friends again?  Although many people think this is childish, stupid, or dumb - it allows for brilliant insight.  Little kids have the capability of becoming very upset with someone, letting them know, and then ultimately getting over it the next day and forgiving that person. Thus, becoming friends again.  See the brilliance?

Most teenagers, young adults, or adults try to hide when they are mad at someone.  They hope the problem will just go away or the person they are mad at will simply acknowledge their feelings.  When the person does not acknowledge they are upset the anger often builds, which ultimately leads to a larger fight.  A lot of people cannot admit they were wrong during a fight, are ashamed to apologize, and do not want to back down.  These are all things which typically lead to holding a grudge against someone.  What do grudges really do anyway? In my experiences it just makes running into those people stressful and that much more awkward.  Who really wants that? 

My advice... be a little childish.  It's OK to become upset or mad at someone.  That's part of life.  However, do not expect the other person to read your mind and know exactly why you became upset.  Humans make mistakes and deserve a little slack here and there.  The little kids I work with are able to run up and tell their friends and teachers immediately what is wrong.  So - be sincere with the person and tell them what's up.  Don't be afraid to admit that you know you're mad for a little reason.  People get annoyed by these things everyday and that is OK.  But if you let it build the problem and your reaction and become out of control.  That is NOT OK and just makes you look like a little crazy to be worked up after something so little.  Don't play the blame game or be the "rule police" (as my supervisor states)... no one wants to hear that.  Just state why you feel mad and go from there.  Remember that sometimes we are at fault and need to apologize.  It takes a far stronger person to step up, admit he or she was wrong, and apologize.

You do not have to be friends with everyone - but should be civil.  Keep an open mind and people will surprise you.

<3 This

Penny for your thoughts...

As I was talking to a classmate the other day about some class related topic, I decided to ask him a question that had been swirling around my head for quite some time.  My question was, "Do you think racism will go away or will become even worse in the future?"  My point was this... naturally, over a thousand years from now there will be a lot more people mixed with several different races.  Originally I was thinking this will be a great thing and racism will no longer occur (*hopefully*).  Then, I started thinking about the "last" people of a certain groups and if those people will fight really hard to keep their race alive or will be seen as a "pure-blood" (yes - like in Harry Potter).  My classmate and I started to agree this could be something that is a future downfall.  For some reason people care so much about their race, their culture, and their heritage.  This is rightfully so - however, people need to realize their culture and heritage will continue even if their "race" is not the dominating characteristic in a person. 

It is just a scary thought to realize change is currently occurring (even though it is slow), and the future could potentially bring us back to square one.  I can only hope this does not occur and people continue to learn from the past (not forget it) and grow.... Just a thought for the day.

Loss of a Fisch

As I was headed to my placement today in the wonders of traffic and rain on 696, I discovered that one of my golf members (Fisch) had passed (from a heart attack - right around 40).  Yes, "my" golf members.  I use to work at a golf course (for pretty much 3.5 years) and came to know a lot of the members very well.  I cannot describe how much fun this golf member was.  At times I felt like he would be extremely quiet, but only to come back with the most clever remark ever... yes, he was sarcastic and hilarious - and I always thought he kinda looked like Drew Carey.  Anyway - he ended up marrying one of my co-workers this fall.  The two of them were a pretty dynamic duo.  Some entertaining drinkers and people with huge hearts.  Whenever the bar was empty I would text them to come keep me company and they would always at least stop by to say, "hi."  Many of those "stops" ended up being long hours =). 

I can only imagine what my co-worker is going through now.  I am still in shock he is gone... Death is something I am becoming way too accustomed to and I am only 22 years old.  Well, I guess almost 23, but still too young to be use to death.  When I first entered college I had a friend who committed suicide.  This last summer a girl from my high school also committed suicide.  Both of these took me by complete shock.  These people were both extremely liked, funny, enteraining, would light up rooms they would walk into... it is still crazy to see how missed they are.  There's not a day that goes by that I do not think about those who have passed...

Anytime I hear "Waiting on a Woman" on the radio I think of my grandpa.  I can definitely see him sitting on a bench up in heaven just waiting on my grandma to get there.  I'm sure he misses her nagging at him all the time, "Johnny do this..."  They were definitely a sight to see.  Even though my grandma would nag at him I can still remember my grandpa's wake very vividly (it's only been a little over a year so I would hope I can still remember it).  Anyway - we were getting ready to leave, and if you have a grandma you know this takes awhile because she kept checking to make sure we had everything for tomorrow.  As we were walking out the door my grandma said, "Oh, I forgot something!"  My sister and I roll our eyes and are probably thinking, "What could we possibly have forgotten?!"  We turn around and follow her up to the door of the church where my grandpa was in his casket.  My grandma walked up to the casket, kissed my grandpa on the forehead, and said, "Night Johnny."  My sister and I instantly started crying (like I am now).  Our grandma told us after such a long time together it would just be wrong to not say goodnight to him.  I will never forget that moment.  To have this type of eternal love that goes past death is something I cannot imagine.  However, someday I hope to have someone that would care for me even half as much as how my grandparents cared for each other...

I think my golf member and my co-worker had this type of friendship that will last forever.  I cannot imagine what my co-worker is going through, but I'm sure if anyone asked her if it was worth being married for such a short amount of time, she without hestitation would say, "Hell yes."