Lover, lover, lover

So many people I know are in relationships, engaged, ready to marry their "best friend," or already married. And that's great. I wish these people the best of luck in their future endeavors. However, I know a lot of people at my age that want love so badly they are willing to give their heart to anyone. And believe me, I've been there, but it's not a good situation.  I'm a hopeless romantic and know a few others who share very similar beliefs as me.  Sometimes you want things so bad that you start to give in, make excuses, or cover for other people - whether you notice it or not.

My aunts laughed and applauded me this Christmas break when we were joking about a young, hot, studly family friend who is from South America.  I have yet to meet him, but I hear he's pretty cool.  Anyway we were looking at his recent facebook post and he was smoking.  I'm not really a fan of that - so my aunt said, "He could change."  With no hesitation I said, "You should never enter a relationship expecting someone to change."  My aunts laughed and said I had knowledge beyond my years at age 22.  This I already know ;)

I guess my point is - don't settle for anything less than everything.  Especially at the age of 22.  I know, I know... you are "in love."  I'm just saying if it's the right person take your time.  Remember to keep that strong independent person that you are.  I know you're feeling pressure from... well everything.  You feel that you need to find someone and settle down in a few years, but you're young! You are only young once.  Travel while your knees still let you.  Make mistakes - make lots of them so you learn the lessons you need for the rest of your life.  Then when you are ready and meet the right person go for it.  You will have learned enough about yourself that you know exactly who you are and what you will and will not put up with.

My dad and step-mom travel all the time and are also not together a lot of the time.  They are on the phone a lot, but I guess my point is they both do things on their own that they enjoy and they still do a ton of stuff together.  There's no jealousy, no person controlling one over the other.  They both are free to do different activities without the other nagging "where were you - why didn't you call."  I don't know how to do descibe it.  They are "in sync" with each other.  They play and feed off each other so well its hard to describe.  They found each other later in life... after they learned exactly what they wanted.

To end with two good songs:

The first - Lover, Lover by Jerrod Niemann.... don't ever be afraid to walk away from something that is not right... no matter how far in the relationship you are... I don't care if it is the day before your wedding.  If you find out something that makes you not trust the person do not get caught in the relationship... you don't deserve it and after you walk away - you will thank god you weren't... what you almost were (Eric Church reference).

My favorite song... a "love" song about missing the San Francisco Bay =) Go Figure

Forever Young

Have you ever noticed that little kids fight for a day and then they are best friends again?  Although many people think this is childish, stupid, or dumb - it allows for brilliant insight.  Little kids have the capability of becoming very upset with someone, letting them know, and then ultimately getting over it the next day and forgiving that person. Thus, becoming friends again.  See the brilliance?

Most teenagers, young adults, or adults try to hide when they are mad at someone.  They hope the problem will just go away or the person they are mad at will simply acknowledge their feelings.  When the person does not acknowledge they are upset the anger often builds, which ultimately leads to a larger fight.  A lot of people cannot admit they were wrong during a fight, are ashamed to apologize, and do not want to back down.  These are all things which typically lead to holding a grudge against someone.  What do grudges really do anyway? In my experiences it just makes running into those people stressful and that much more awkward.  Who really wants that? 

My advice... be a little childish.  It's OK to become upset or mad at someone.  That's part of life.  However, do not expect the other person to read your mind and know exactly why you became upset.  Humans make mistakes and deserve a little slack here and there.  The little kids I work with are able to run up and tell their friends and teachers immediately what is wrong.  So - be sincere with the person and tell them what's up.  Don't be afraid to admit that you know you're mad for a little reason.  People get annoyed by these things everyday and that is OK.  But if you let it build the problem and your reaction and become out of control.  That is NOT OK and just makes you look like a little crazy to be worked up after something so little.  Don't play the blame game or be the "rule police" (as my supervisor states)... no one wants to hear that.  Just state why you feel mad and go from there.  Remember that sometimes we are at fault and need to apologize.  It takes a far stronger person to step up, admit he or she was wrong, and apologize.

You do not have to be friends with everyone - but should be civil.  Keep an open mind and people will surprise you.

<3 This